Hey Guys - What Kind of Lover Are You??

in Humor und Ausgefallenes

  1. 29.9.2009

    myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/dp…

    Poll: German Men Worst Lovers
    Updated: Tuesday, 29 Sep 2009, 11:52 AM CDT
    Published : Tuesday, 29 Sep 2009, 11:51 AM CDT

    By MIKE BRODY
    (MYFOX NATIONAL) - In a poll of 15,000 women conducted by UK research company OnePoll.com, German men were voted as the world's worst lovers because they are "too smelly."
    The Telegraph reports that German men narrowly beat British men for the dubious title. Women in the poll found English men to be "too lazy."
    Women from 20 countries were asked to rate men from different countries on their ability in bed and give reasons for their answers.
    Americans finished as the fifth worst because they were found to be "too dominating." The Dutch ("too rough") were No. 4 on the list and the Swedes were the third worst because the women said they were "too quick."

    WORLD'S WORST LOVERS:
    Germany (too smelly)
    England (too lazy)
    Sweden (too quick)
    Holland (too rough)
    America (too dominating)
    Greece (too lovey-dovey)
    Wales (too selfish)
    Scotland (too loud)
    Turkey (too sweaty)
    Russia (too hairy)

    WORLD'S BEST LOVERS:
    Spain
    Brazil
    Italy
    France
    Ireland
    South Africa
    Australia
    New Zealand
    Denmark
    Canada

    A 2007 poll of 10,000 women in 50 different countries also found German men to be the world's worst lovers, but that poll cited "selfishness" as the reason.

    • Megan M.
    • Carrollton, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 120 Freunde
    • 67 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Scotland (too loud) - HAHAHAHAHA

    I want to see what men think of their female lovers in various countries!

    • Megan M.
    • Carrollton, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 120 Freunde
    • 67 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Sorry, allow me to explain the laughter: SEAN CONNERY! *snicker*

  2. 29.9.2009

    I thought the (too hariy) would make it further up the list!!
    I refuse to 'do it' with a freakin bear!!

  3. 29.9.2009

    what if you are mexian american?

  4. 29.9.2009

    hopefully you arent dating a half swedish half english person

    • 37 Freunde
    • 19 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Of all the worst lover categories, "too dominating" is certainly better than smelly, lazy, sweaty, quick etc.

    So, you you know, yeah America!  USA! USA! USA!

    Or was that too dominating?

    • 105 Freunde
    • 33 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Im not saying a thing.... *smirk*

  5. 29.9.2009

    Ahem.  I would say based on my experiences...the Holland one is right on track but the Scottish one, at least the one I hung out with, was more in the "too hairy" rather than "too loud" variety.  hehehe  And I will have to disagree with the Australian one because the one I dated was probably more in the "too lazy" or "too stoned to move" category.  HA!

    I am all about expanding my knowledge with some Spanish, Brazilian, or Italian guy...call me!  hehe

    • Megan M.
    • Carrollton, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 120 Freunde
    • 67 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    I want to know why the "best" are the "best," is it size or what!? ^.^

  6. 29.9.2009

    I would like to see what the guys think of the girls.

    Sweden - lol.

    • Scott M.
    • Lewisville, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 185 Freunde
    • 175 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Half Italian here but the other half is mostly Scottish, WTF do you mean "too loud"??  Whatever I'll try to breathe quiet then.

    When I saw German on the list I thought of Dieter from SNL Sprockets, might be more than just a smelly problem ...

    • Scott M.
    • Lewisville, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 185 Freunde
    • 175 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    and another thing, the worst one could be half russian half dutch

    • Lisa P.
    • Arlington, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 298 Freunde
    • 121 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Spain. Brazil. Italy. Oh HAYell yes. Although, additional research can only make the science stronger...

    LeslieP, you're so silly - once they start getting some, the boys pretty much think "YAY! SEX! I LOVE VAGINAS! OH SHIT, BASEBALLBASEBALLBASEBALL..." Along those lines. Again, scientific fact. *nod*

  7. 29.9.2009

    Lisa....i disagree.....not all vagina is the same whatsoever...case in point the last two girls I've slept with....totally different down under, in size etc.....my fav is latin girls.

    • 136 Freunde
    • 135 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    or if you watch Glee.... think of the mailman... think of the mail!!!!!

    • 147 Freunde
    • 117 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    I love baseball

    • 105 Freunde
    • 33 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Hmmm Women of different countries .... where to start.

    1= Texas - Because i have to say that. Out going - easy to talk too - not too much princess factor going on (mostly)
    2= Australia - Because the blokes they have to deal with they are always appreciative
    (incidentally voted the world most promiscuous women)
    3= New Zealand - honest as the day is long. Can drink most guys under the table. also make great players. (not always well polished or graceful)
    4 = Canadians - even tempered, good teeth, strong in the hind quarters ( I think I just described a horse oh well)
    5 = Scandinavian = great traveling companions very liberal - swimwear optional
    (shaving and personal grooming may need some coaching)

    • 147 Freunde
    • 117 Beiträge
    29.9.2009

    Nashville, Tennessee.  Best in the world

  8. 29.9.2009

    I'm pretty sure Lance is right on that one hehe

    • 206 Freunde
    • 14 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Being from the Republic of Moldova, I'd say that we're the most condescending.

  9. 30.9.2009

    Lisa - you make a strong point. In the bedroom guys are all about the girlie junk and it doesn't make a bit of difference. However, what they say in the locker room afterwards is an intirely differnt story.

    I have heard a lot about Aussie guys being terrible lovers. The main complaints I heard though was their lack of foreplay.

  10. 30.9.2009

    entirely

    • 443 Freunde
    • 598 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    and of course the Asians have been overlooked.

    • 136 Freunde
    • 135 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    that's because everyone knows asian and partly asian and quarter asian women are perfect joe.  nobody needs a poll for that!  

    asian men.... hrm... not so sure???

  11. 30.9.2009

    i could vouch for the asians. they're not too bad ;)
    My friend did say Kiwis and Aussie guys were lacking in the foreplay dept. I wouldn't mind a loud Scot. ^_^

    • Scott M.
    • Lewisville, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 185 Freunde
    • 175 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    and I suppose Tennesseein' is believin

    • 16 Freunde
    • 10 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    I have to say Asians are not too bad but Italians are better... Australians are up there too, Asian Australians too.. I hope my daughter does not see this when she grows up! LOL...
    But then again, I am speaking from old old old experience, all in the past! :P

    • 105 Freunde
    • 33 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Foreplay ... whats that.....and does any one care ....

    • Megan M.
    • Carrollton, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 120 Freunde
    • 67 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Asians weren't overlooked, they just weren't in the top 10 or bottom 10. I'd say that's pretty "okay."

    • 136 Freunde
    • 135 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    you put 'fine' in front of wine or dine and you really have something...  hahahhaa.

    • Lisa P.
    • Arlington, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 298 Freunde
    • 121 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Wait, who's that old foreplay (or lack thereof) joke about?? Irish, maybe? Their version: "Brace yerself, Bridget!"

    Apparently they've collectively upped their game, since they're on the Best list.

  12. 30.9.2009

    Americans too dominating? Really? My mama always told me that American men were always the nicest and to go for one!
    Dominating= Asian. Back in the old country, anyways.

    • 20 Freunde
    • 29 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Since we're on the subject, how about natural hair color? I've noticed major differences in that category. My rankings are : 1) redheads. 2) Brunettes. 3) Blondes.

    • Lisa P.
    • Arlington, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 298 Freunde
    • 121 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Jerry, if that list is for dudes, then I'm with you. I am a fan of the ginger.

    If it's not - suck it!

    :D

    • 418 Freunde
    • 663 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    I'm going to have to disagree with the German thing... well from what I can remember....it's been a while.

    • 418 Freunde
    • 663 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Jerry... what about auburn?

    • 20 Freunde
    • 29 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Amiee, I still consider auburn to be a shade of red.

    Lisa, my list is about the females.
    So....Lick it!

    LOL

    • Scott M.
    • Lewisville, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 185 Freunde
    • 175 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    coppertop right here, but as far as those rankings go we need to get some hard evidence

    (TWSS)

    • 66 Freunde
    • 138 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    I think from my experience: Argentinean, Italian women has some sort suave that makes them very sexy to me.  I think for me though from my experience of dating I prefer people from the states: it's like mind, body, soul thing.  I can have interesting conversations with people from other cultures but when it comes down to having a relationship with a person from the states, you can assume a common thread and that makes them really sexy to me.

    Hair: dark hair and light eyes are really nice.

    Height: I am 6'4" so a tall girl with sexy long legs would be nice.

    I can say from traveling in Brasil, Spain, Italy, and Argentinia before there  is a bit machismo.  It can be very sexy to some women and a bit of "too much" sauce for some women.  The guys say really corny stuff and then there is the eye contact.  It drives some women crazy.  

    I hope Tiffany D. comes to an event so I can see I try this experiment on her. :)

    • 98 Freunde
    • 143 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    It seems pretty ridiculous that there is no list to see what men think of women. Thanks boys for the input about your fav kind of ladies ;)   I would also like to question some of the ethnicities which are not represented...
    Polish men: size is definitely a plus for them, and they take their tame. No foreplay though from what I have experienced.  Mexican American men: this one is a hit or miss. Sometimes it's good...sometime's it's like WTF just happened to me.

    Other than Polish men, it seems as though guys with a strong European descent have the odds stacked against them. Smelly, hairy, sweaty, too quick...fuck...looks like I need to start planning trips to Latin America!!! Anyone interested?!?

    • Lisa P.
    • Arlington, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 298 Freunde
    • 121 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Stephanie, the Polish thing reminded me: a friend & I were talking a few months ago, and we realized that without fail (in OUR, erm, research anyway), boys of Eastern European descent are packin' some serious heat. Anyone else notice this?

    A few of you might remember "Two Car Garage". THAT friend. Yeah.

    • 20 Freunde
    • 29 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Steph,
       We should gather a Yelp world tour!

    • 136 Freunde
    • 135 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    LISA!  I was just about to say that.  Eastern European... um, hrm, um.  Yeah.

    Also, I still can't tell if it's an ethnicity or a religion or whatever... but what about the Jewish men/women?  For some reason, I've got the hots for a lot of Jews, but I'll just leave it at that.

    • 66 Freunde
    • 138 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    I can vouch for Israeli chicks.  OMG, they are fricking hot!!!!  Almost makes me want to convert to Judaism.

  13. 30.9.2009

    Since hairy was mentioned, check this guy out...
    telegraph.co.uk/news/pic…

    I made myself nauseous.

    • 20 Freunde
    • 29 Beiträge
    30.9.2009

    Lisa,
         The reason for Eastern European men packing heat is due in part that when they were boys they grew up in poverty with little or no toys to play with.

  14. 30.9.2009

    My theory is that it's because they are not cut as infants...

  15. 30.9.2009

    Cut as infants? as in converting the turtleneck into a t-shirt? hrmm i dunno. If that's the case.. I think I'll stay away from Eastern Europeans. :P

    • 105 Freunde
    • 33 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Famous quote from an Irish girl to "a friend"  regarding foreplay  -  

    *Irish accent* - Enoof of da fancy stoff and just harse it in meEe

    • 66 Freunde
    • 138 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    interesting article while we are the topic

    cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/09/3…

    i feel sorry for the lady at the end of the article.

  16. 1.10.2009

    omg she's only 26 and feeling that way!?! :( i wonder if she has a drawer full of toys

    • 105 Freunde
    • 33 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    indeed - thats seems to sort of sum up a stale marriage pretty well.

    • 98 Freunde
    • 143 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Hahaha!!! So all us single ladies need to make a trip to Eastern Europe! I think the idea of a Yelp world tour is FANTASTIC :)  We can promote love, and reviewing to the masses...

    • 20 Freunde
    • 29 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Just to clarify....I will review the Eastern European ladies on the world tour. Hehehe

    • 98 Freunde
    • 143 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    I'm sure many of the Eastern European ladies may also fall into the categories of smelly and hairy....ewww

    • 253 Freunde
    • 323 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Jerry: Be aware that eastern european women tend to look like eastern european men...just a bit more hairy.

    • 20 Freunde
    • 29 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Nothing a good bubble bath and razors can't handle! LOL

    • 147 Freunde
    • 117 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Awwe man, way to ruin my lunch appetite Stephanie, VOM

    • 98 Freunde
    • 143 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    Sorry Lance :(

    • Megan M.
    • Carrollton, Vereinigte Staaten
    • 120 Freunde
    • 67 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    I still wonder why people are so put off by hair, we all have it, some just have more than others.

    • 98 Freunde
    • 143 Beiträge
    1.10.2009

    I guess the way I see it is...the hairier your partner is, the more likely you are to end up with a hairball! major turnoff. with proper landscaping though, I dont think hair is really an issue.

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